TPC-Digests-V1-Issues-123

Most military dependent children are born to very young couples who have been removed from their extended support system or other supportive older adults on whom they can rely. For almost all military children, their physical and psychological needs are indeed met during childhood; however, when children begin to assert themselves and/or make emotional demands, which often begins in early to middle adolescence, the parental system may be unable to tend to the children’s needs. Parents who are under a great deal of stress and perhaps faced with a high level of uncertainty around issues like multiple deployments, may find themselves resentful or threatened by the needs of the children. The ability to understand how some families in the military are organized, not just because of who the parents are but, more importantly, who the parents are in the midst of the demands of the “warrior fortress” in which they live, is essential in working with these families. Helping parents assess their current parenting style and then consider how to modify their parenting practices from patterns that are discouraging for their children to those that are encouraging, can be extremely valuable for family growth and development. Helping parents adjust their style will directly impact their children’s behavior. Three common parenting styles are the coercive parenting style, the pampering or permissive parenting style, and the respectful leadership style. Helping military parents understand how their parenting style impacts child development can often be a counselor’s most valuable teaching tool. When children begin to assert themselves... the parental system may be unable to tend to the children’s needs. TPC Digest