TPC-Journal-V1-Issue3

The Professional Counselor \ Volume 1, Issue 1 165 Paul and Frieden (2008) examined the process of integration of gay identity and self-acceptance among gay men. Participants described societal homophobia and heterosexism as “powerful barriers” to self-acceptance, and validation and acceptance from others as helpful supports in the acceptance of themselves. Respondents indicated that they felt emotional pain or crisis when they began to develop a same-gender sexual identity and received negative messages about that identity. They feared that loved ones would not be accepting, and often denied that they were gay, both to themselves and to others. A study by Rowen and Malcolm (2002) examined internalized homophobia and its relationship to sexual minority identity formation, self-esteem, and self-concept among 86 gay men. Results indicated that higher levels of internalized homophobia were associated in less developed gay male identities. In addition, gay men who felt more uncomfortable with their sexual orientations were more likely to experience guilt over their same-gender sexual behavior. Internalized homophobia also was found to be related to lower levels of self-esteem and self-concept in terms of physical appearance and emotional stability. There are a diverse range of personal variables such as “personality characteristics, overall psychological health, religious beliefs, and negative or traumatic experiences regarding one’s sexual orientation” (Hunter, 2007, p. 94) that impact to whom LGB individuals disclose their same-gender sexual orientation. Some same-gender oriented individuals are closeted entirely and hide their sexual orientations from others for fear of their reactions (Iwasaki & Ristock, 2007). Others will only come out to selected people (e.g., friends, family, colleagues, teachers, medical providers) rather than everyone at once. Several will come out completely and become very involved in the LGB community by attending LGB events and venues. In general, disclosures are most often first made to friends of LGB people who are considered to be somewhat affirming of one’s same-gender sexual orientation (Hunter, 2007). According to Cain (1991), coming out to friends can bring two friends closer together, confirm an already close relationship, or cause a strain between previously close friends. Results from a study by D’Augelli and Hershberger (2002) revealed that 73% of lesbian and gay youths first told a friend about their same-gender sexual attractions. Other research suggested that bisexual men and women are also more likely to disclose to their friends than to family members and work colleagues (Hunter, 2007). These friends are usually across sexual identities and often with individuals who are heterosexual, and less with other bisexuals (Galupo, 2006). Regardless of the outcome, the notion that disclosure to friends differs from disclosure to family members allows for LGB individuals to “select friends who are supportive or drop those unlikely to accept the revelation, something they cannot do in their parental or sibling relationships” (Cain, 1991, p. 349). LGB individuals do not always disclose their LGB sexual orientations to family members for fear of consequences such as “…anything from a dismissal of their feelings to an actual dismissal from the household” (Rotheram-Borus & Langabeer, 2001, p. 104). Disclosures to parents elicit much anxiety for LGB individuals as there are limited ways to predict how parents will respond (Hunter, 2007). Many LGB individuals fear losing familial support after disclosing to family members (Carpineto et. al, 2008; D’Augelli, Grossman, & Starks, 2005). According to Shapiro, Rios, & Stewart (2010), when LGB individuals have identified the family as a source of conflict, these individuals considered their parental figures to be unsupportive of their sexual identity. This conflict leads to an increase in tension within the family. According to Savin-Williams and Ream (2003), 90% of college men reported that coming out to their parents was a “somewhat” to “extremely” challenging event for them (p. 429). Siblings have been described as more accepting of their LGB sibling’s disclosure, and if there is rejection it is usually less stressful than rejection by the parents (Cain, 1991). Lesbian wives do not often disclose to their husbands for fear of consequences (i.e., violence, custody battles), but men who come out as bisexual following their marriage to a woman tell her soon after he accepts his bisexual identity (Hunter, 2007). No data on gay men and their disclosure to their wives could be located. It also is not uncommon for LGB parents to keep their same-gender sexual orientations from their children for fear of losing custody or inflicting harm on their children (Hunter, 2007). There are positives and negatives to coming out at work and to work colleagues (Hunter, 2007), and therefore there are varying levels of disclosure among LGB individuals. Research suggests that LGB individuals who are more open at work experience higher levels of job satisfaction and commitment to the workplace (Day & Shoenrade, 1997; Griffith & Hebl, 2002; King, Reilly, & Hebl, 2008). Some LGB individuals may feel “honest, empowered and connected” after