TPC-Journal-V1-Issue3

The Professional Counselor \ Volume 1, Issue 1 227 just in case, just in case, cause he wouldn’t hit my dad unless he really needed to and then he left for 2 days but we knew where he was so, or I knew where he was. Many participants noted exposure to violence in the media, including the witnessing of violence via the television, magazines, the internet, and pop culture. One participant provided an example within pop culture, “what about [two pop stars], she was mad about what he did but…..I think it’s her fault.” Another example of media exposure to violence came from television, “the thing where someone is growing up in an abusive house dating someone from a less hostile home, like it’s um, kind of sounds like [two characters] from Secret Life [television show].” In addition to pop culture and media exposure to violence, participants reported exposure within the larger community. This includes violence that takes place within neighborhoods and the larger community. For example, one participant shared: I’ve actually witnessed, like on the corner [near my house] … [The] guy in the relationship keeps grabbing her and taking her back into the car… and I got close enough to be able to see and hear… she looked at me and said help me… I felt good that I helped with the situation but I felt really bad for her. Participants also noted exposure to violence within their own peer groups, which includes the witnessing or sharing of violence that takes place among friends and peers. Participants made a number of statements, including: And I’m not going to say names but one of our current girls actually experienced being with one of our girls’ brother. Or almost. But, I don’t know…I guess he had her pinned up against the wall or something. In addition to peer exposure to dating violence, participants reported direct personal experience with physical, emotional, and sexual relationship violence. Participants discussed violence in dating, familial, and casual relationships. Personal experience within dating relationships includes violence perpetrated or experienced during a dating relationship. One participant shared, “One of my ex-boyfriends one time pulled a knife on me because I wouldn’t do some sexual things with him… he said nobody’s going to love you like I do.” Personal experience of violence in family of origin occurs within families where the adolescent is directly involved in the violent act. For example, one participant reported, “In my family there is a lot of yelling. It was hard because if I did one thing, he would yell at me and I was on restriction like every single day for just doing the littlest thing.” Other areas of personal experience of violence include friends and peer groups. One participant explained, “I am very fun…. I’m pretty kind but I do hit my friends. It is a joke. I don’t hurt them.” Dating Violence Responses The research team identified three primary themes regarding how participants recommended responding to dating violence: prevention strategies, factors influencing responses, and dating violence interventions. Participants proposed several methods to prevent dating violence. They suggested to “check your partner’s background” by doing “criminal background” checks or asking friends about their ex-partner’s behavior. It was assumed an individual’s past relationship history is indicative of future behavior. One girl suggested avoiding, “a guy who has had many ex-girlfriends.” They also discussed trusting their instincts about people and stated, “I know he’s just not the right guy. I know that something’s wrong with him, something’s going to happen.” The participants discussed influences on responding to dating violence. Participants made statements suggesting they view reporting as dangerous. One female explained, “I know people who wouldn’t want to tell because if you go back to that person…they can hurt you even more.” Another girl stated, “What if you’re like scared to see somebody about it? Like you’re just like scared you’re going to get into trouble about it or the person who did what was wrong will come back.” Participants noted gender differences in reporting choices. For example, one participant explained, “[Girls] give in to telling people because they actually want to be safe. But boys … they probably think they’re tough.” Participants also imagined scenarios where someone may choose to not report the violence due to what their friends might think. “People might actually try to cover it up because they don’t want them to see that they are in a bad relationship.” Another participant suggested someone’s own ambivalence about the relationship could cause them to hide the violence, and stated, “They don’t want their friends to know because they might like their partner at certain times.” While participants noted the challenge others may face when reporting relationship violence, the participants suggested