TPC-Journal-V2-Issue3

The Professional Counselor \Volume 2, Issue 3 213 building, and still others reflected on not feeling very close with their clients, not having developed much of a relationship yet, or not having really connected. Sarah describes not feeling connected to her client, “It’s definitely not like, well, I don’t feel very connected to him. He feels very guarded, and I feel like I’m pushing him in doing a lot of the work. So, it’s a hard relationship.” When answering a question about what her client might say was most meaningful in the session, Sarah also had this to say about their connection, “I feel like there’s this wall between me and him so, yeah, so I honestly don’t know what part like would stand out for him.” Although these quotes vividly illustrate a lack of connection in this particular counseling relationship, many CITs reported feeling very close and connected to their clients. Michelle describes her feelings of connection to her client, in spite of the many differences between them: I mean I feel connected with her. I feel like I can, . . . it’s weird because . . . I’m similar to her in a lot of ways and, you know, gender . . . but also different in age and . . . responsibilities and where we’re at in our lives, but I seem like I can understand her . . . Many CITs also described the counseling relationship as meaningful in terms of the quality of trust. The sharing and honesty exhibited by clients was directly related to the trust present in the relationships according to CITs. Some of the sharing included the client admitting that they were sharing information with the CIT that they had never shared with others, sharing information that seemed deep to CITs, and showing emotion. Other examples were of clients sharing that either the CIT or something in the session made them feel uncomfortable. Kerry describes here how the client’s behavior translated to evidence of trust: Being our second session, and I think a way that kind of signified it, was that she was able to become emotional and let some things out, and I think that kind of let me know that she had somewhat of a trust built up with me. Other CITs reported clients being guarded in session, not wanting to discuss certain topics, or that they were working on building greater trust. Annie shares here how the trust was building, but not quite at the level she hoped for yet in her relationship with her client: So, it seemed like at times she was trying to share those with me but she wasn’t quite sure, ready to do it. So, that seemed pretty important for me to kind of recognize and realize that she did seem like she was trying and that maybe it was difficult. Trust was a subtheme of the Counseling Relationship that was present in many of the CIT interviews and one that they seemed to place great importance on. Another prominent subtheme for CITs is Depth of Understanding. CITs spoke to being on the same page as their clients, experiencing moments of clarity with their clients, showing understanding through validation and reflection, obtaining a grasp of the client’s experience, or a lack of these characteristics. Sam describes her experience here of a moment of clarity and understanding between she and her client: He described it as the noise in his head was quieted and it was just very meaningful, a metaphor that he used, and it was a very meaningful moment for both of us because it was like this connection like he really hit the nail on the head of what he was trying to explain about how he can’t interact with people. And I feel like he accepted that I understood that…. Regarding this same moment, Sam says, “The way I felt was that we were both just, like all the muddy waters were cleared. It was like this perfect moment of communication.” A few counselors spoke about the relationship in terms of boundaries. They described feeling that the client understood the boundaries of the relationship, the boundaries were clear, or that the two of them were trying to figure out the boundaries. Annie described the meaningfulness of the clear boundaries in this way: [My client] mentioned that she had talked with a classmate afterwards and they had been discussing their relationship with their counselor and [the classmate] had said that they weren’t really getting a lot out of it because she felt like the counselor was friendly and it felt like a friend relationship. So that felt meaningful to me because it felt like she understood our boundaries and she could kind of respect what my role was and what her role was and she was, while it could be awkward and she was still somewhat in process that she understood those boundaries, and that was meaningful I think.