TPC Journal V7, Issue 3 - FULL ISSUE

216 The Professional Counselor | Volume 7, Issue 3 had experienced. Amy and Tina viewed IF as one of the institutionalization issues rather than an attachment issue. Amy suggested that children who were previously institutionalized mostly lacked child-parent relationships and failed to form a routine early on in life. It was assessed that something might have happened in children’s brains that made it difficult to learn to interact in later relationships. Tina assumed that Joshua’s IF behaviors represented his life experiences at the orphanage from which he was adopted. She speculated that the overfriendliness had become a pattern in his first three years in the orphanage where he had no clue about whom his next caregiver would be, and a rational way for him to gain attention from others was to be friendly (e.g., giving a hug). The participants also tied children’s IF behaviors with the news report about suspected child abuse in the orphanage where Joshua was adopted. There was a lack of knowledge and evidence regarding the institutional care that children had received prior to adoption, but the participants held the assumption that children’s weight could be an indicator of the quality of care provided at orphanages, which might be indirectly tied to children’s behaviors of reaching out to strangers for food or other basic needs. All four children’s weight was below the average when adopted, according to the participants. This was the most evident for Joshua, as he weighed only 23 pounds when he was 2 years and 10 months old. His numbers fell off the growth chart for his developmental stage. Both Amy and Tina highlighted the role of love and responsive parenting as a protective factor of IF behaviors and in counteracting children’s previous institutionalization experiences. In this study, parents’ love and responsive parenting were delivered through understanding of the complexity of IF, accepting the child, and attending to the individual needs of the child. Both participants perceived IF as a concern, yet understood that going through abandonment and institutionalization may have contributed to children’s IF behaviors. Adopting a child meant, according to Amy, not only bringing a child home, but also caring for the child in one’s heart. Strong emotions were provoked when participants recalled children’s atypical experiences compared to their non-adopted peers. The participants reiterated that love should be unconditional to all children, no matter by birth or adoption. Amy firmly believed that whether a child is biological or adopted, it should make no difference in terms of parenting because each child deserves high-quality love. All children should be considered as “our ” children, and the love is “our” love. Separation is what adoptees go through. With strong emotions, Amy highlighted the goodbyes that the adoptees had to say in their lives, all of which apparently were out of their control. Amy elaborated that a child’s life started in the mother’s room for months, and the child was used to the mother’s presence and voice, and then had to tell the mother goodbye. That was the child’s first loss in life. The child was then delivered to the orphanage, labeled as one of many orphans, and taken care of by orphanage staff. Shortly after forming an attachment with orphanage staff and peers (referred to as “crib-mates” by Amy), the child was matched with an adoptive family from overseas and had to say goodbye again. The multiple losses and separations solidified the critical role that adoptive parents may play, so that the child is nurtured in a steady and consistent environment. Participants believed that showing responsive parenting was vital in helping children work on IF behaviors because changes could not be made on children’s pre-adoption experiences, but could be made on post-adoption caregiving. Tina reinforced that parents should not just take a child away from strangers; a more compelling need for the child was to learn how to act appropriately with strangers. The participants emphasized the importance of selective attending, meaning that parents attend to a child when he/she was in true need (e.g., when a child wanders off without checking in) and ignore behaviors that did not matter to the child’s safety or growth. Participants suggested several techniques for fostering parental attending to children’s needs, including singing children’s