450 The Professional Counselor | Volume 11, Issue 4 Parental Autonomy From Their Family of Origin or Religious Communities A less frequent, but nonetheless notable, sign of parental attunement to the experience and emotions of their child was participants’ descriptions of how they prioritized the wishes and needs of their child and demonstrated autonomy from their families of origin (n = 10) or religious backgrounds (n = 4). Berta recounted planning with her partner how to break the news of their consent to extended family members: [When] we told extended family, I was making the phone calls, but [my partner] reminded me, he said, “Remember, this is not a terminal illness.” It could be, right, if you don’t do it right, but just say, “We’re not asking permission, and we are not apologizing.” So, he kind of like, you know, held me up when we made those calls. Brenda (48), a White, cisgender woman married to her parenting partner and living in the MidAtlantic region, described her experience within a religious community that had members that were reluctant to openly lend support and others who wanted to offer support but lacked the necessary knowledge and skill to do so. In recounting what led her and her family to leave their congregation at the time, she stated: I did chat about it to anyone who asked and had hoped to educate and affect some positive change from within, but lots of folks just weren’t ready or willing to have these conversations. Which was interesting because this was all during the time when the [denomination] was making high-level decisions about whether or not to affirm LGBTQ folks. Access to Affirming Community, Education, Health Care, and Parenting Partnership All participants made at least some reference to having access to affirming (a) community of parents, professionals, colleagues, and/or friends; (b) education; (c) health care; and (d) parenting partnership. A key element of access to an affirming community was participants’ acknowledgement of possibility models. This term, which participants credited to prominent transgender actor Laverne Cox, refers to a person who identifies as TGD and has successfully gone through a medical transition, or a parent who has successfully supported their child through a medical transition. Possibility models were referenced when participants spoke about their experiences with family friends, support group members, professionals, and members of the mass media. Participants were all members of affirming communities, and they reported that they received affirming education from group members and health care providers, including professional counselors. Adele reported the following about the support her child received from an affirming professional counselor during the process toward GCEI: This counselor met her where she was and was using interventions geared toward just expressing herself. And I think it helped her to externalize what was happening, and then also, she was able to talk about the things that she was going through . . . because it was a space where there was no pressure. Several participants reported that the counselors or mental health providers who wrote referral letters for their youth to begin GCEI were often closely associated with support groups they attended, completed gatekeeping procedures efficiently and without unexpected fees, had TGD-affirming staff and office procedures in place, and did not necessarily focus exclusively on gender identity.
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