The Professional Counselor | Volume 14, Issue 1 39 My go-to approach is to say things like “Everyone’s body is growing at its own pace” and “We have to let our bodies grow at their own pace.” I’m freaked out by stats on how many U.S. girls are dieting around age 10-ish. I’m hoping that my emphasis on letting our bodies do what they need to do will have some impact against pre-teen dieting fads taking hold in our home. Many participants spoke about their goal for their children of “listening to their bodies.” Kimberly explained, “We tell our children a lot, ‘Listen to your body.’ So, what your body is feeling, what your body is saying, if your body is not hungry anymore, that’s fine. Or if it is hungry.” Further, participants named the impact of modeling, and not modeling, ideals about bodies. To illustrate, Imani explained, Not talking about other people, that is a huge thing in our family, is just to not talk negatively about people that we don’t know or about people we do know. We don’t talk negatively about our own bodies in front of our kids or anybody else’s body in front of our kids. That’s honestly probably one of the more impactful things that we do. Kimberly, too, emphasized being mindful of modeling how to think and talk about bodies: Making sure that we model kindness to our bodies in front of them as well. So not saying things that are self-deprecating about the way that we look. Making sure that our children don’t hear us saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m just so fat,” those kinds of messages. Also, participants emphasized integrating body neutrality into clothing approaches with their children. Scarlett described being mindful of the language she uses regarding clothes and bodies: “You’re too big for that versus those clothes don’t fit your body, or you’re too small for that versus that doesn’t really look like it’s comfortable on your body. Let’s find something that works best for you.” De-moralizing Movement The last subcategory (n = 7) was De-moralizing Movement, which included engaging in movement for fun and being mindful of how we speak about exercise. Imani explained: And so I think that for us, we really try to keep those things [exercise, body image, and food] disconnected. If you’re doing gymnastics, it’s because you’re interested in it and you think it’s a fun thing, not because it’s going to impact your body, not because you know it’s going to make you thin. It’s because you think it’s fun. Cassie conceptualized movement as being fun, not for compensation, as well: “Being excited about things our bodies are doing and not just kind of the emphasis on like, well, if it’s fun, let’s do it. But if it’s not fun, then we’re not going to push ourselves or torture ourselves.” Moreover, Scarlett emphasized the importance of being conscientious of language used to describe her children’s bodies: How big they are. We use that term especially with male children. But you are such a big boy is always the thing. You’re such a big boy . . . instead trying to just say things like, “Oh, hey, that’s really awesome that you can do X, Y, and Z.” Trying to make it very concrete, it’s very cool that your body allows you to run around and play.
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