The Professional Counselor | Volume 14, Issue 1 41 to their experiences with an eating disorder or disordered eating driving their desire to parent from a body neutral stance. Cassie, for example, cited her eating disorder recovery as sparking her passion for body neutral parenting: Right when my husband and I got married, I went into treatment for an eating disorder, and so that shaped me a lot. . . . I was using all of the things that I had learned and trying to really instill it in them. How we talk about food, how we talk about bodies. It was such an integral part of my parenting. Being Gentle With Yourself The second subcategory was Being Gentle With Yourself. Each participant (n = 10) criticized themselves in some fashion about not perfectly integrating body neutrality into their parenting approach. They were quick to highlight their failures and slow to honor their successes. Body neutral parenting, given its emphasis on countering long-standing sociocultural messaging, requires offering oneself a great deal of grace. Body neutral parenting entails tremendous learning, and that learning starts with reminding caregivers that they are doing the best that they can with the knowledge, support, and resources that they have. Imani spoke to how she navigated thoughts from these internalized messages and filtered them: I think about things like, “She’s thinning out.” . . . It’s so ingrained, it’s hard not to think those things. And so then even if that’s something that goes across my mind or I think about the things that they’re eating and how that might impact their body or their physical health, just stopping that conversation with me and not actually talking about that with them, it’s not something that they need to hear. So, I think that it’s just as much what we don’t say as much as what we do say to them. Having thoughts stemming from diet culture and stumbling and saying the “wrong” thing is inevitable when rewiring these deeply embedded messages. Not only are those moments of “messing up” normal, but they also create space for beautiful moments to repair. Scarlett explained her process of repairing the inevitable ruptures: Which all sounds well and good and wonderful until you are running around with a 4-year-old and a 5-year-old on your day to day. I will also balance that, it’s also trying to catch myself when I say things that I’ve just internalized from society in my own childhood and being like, “Hey, isn’t that interesting.” Just talking out loud to them. Saying, “Isn’t it interesting that I said X, Y, and Z? Is that really maybe the best way to talk about our bodies?” Trying to just be reflective and knowing that I’m not always going to be body neutral but trying to be intentional about noticing when I’m not. The participants reflected that parenting is an imperfect, human process. Needing Support The third subcategory was Needing Support. All of the caregivers in the study (n = 10) spoke to the importance of feeling support in their parenting approach. Support looked different for each family; some received support through social media, and others described finding support from their partner or other like-minded caregivers. Every participant described the role that social media had in their body neutral parenting approach. Many described learning about the approach via social media and experiencing continued support through certain social media pages. For example, common social
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