The Professional Counselor | Volume 14, Issue 1 75 were overt, but all contributed to stress and frustration and generalized anxiety. I have seen much worse with coworkers of color and disabled Black and Brown folks in my community.” P126 admitted that completing the study survey “evoked difficult memories.” Additionally, this participant described the turmoil and cognitive dissonance they experience: I’m reminded taking this survey of the inner conflict with identifying as disabled. Is my disability qualifying enough, will I be rejected? I felt hints of defensiveness emerge, like imposter syndrome. I also recognize that I desire to be abled and that keeps the conflict churning. Microaggression Experiences Are Different Depending on Visibility of Disability Six participants (6.6%) spoke to how individuals with hidden disabilities experience microaggressions differently than individuals with visible/apparent disabilities. P141 asserted that “because my disabilities are hidden, I don’t hear many microaggressions regarding me,” and P183 corroborated that microaggressions are “different the more severe and obvious the disabilities are.” P146 suggested that “invisible disabilities offer up a whole different category of microaggressions than those with visible disabilities,” and P151 added that “hidden disabilities is [sic] a double edged sword,” highlighting both the privilege and the dismissiveness hidden disabilities can bring. P150 emphasized the privilege of others not knowing about their disability: “In some ways, this benefits me because I’m not associated with the stigma of a disability.” Internalized Ableism A small number of participants (n = 4) expressed comments that were consistent with Internalized Ableism. Internalized Ableism includes believing the stereotypes, myths, and misconceptions about PWD, such as the notion that all disabilities are visible and that PWD cannot live independently, and it can manifest as beliefs about their own disability or others’ disabilities. One manifestation of Internalized Ableism is when a PWD expresses that another’s disability is not real or true compared to their own disability. For example, P112 stated: “Every time I go out I have great difficulty finding available accessible parking. I watch & people using the spots are walking/functioning just fine. Sick of hearing about ‘hidden disability.’ I think the majority are inconsiderate lazy people.” Another manifestation of Internalized Ableism can be when PWD deny the existence of ableist microaggressions. P183 shared: I don’t think that most people have microaggressions toward PWD. Maybe that’s different the more severe and obvious the disabilities are. It tends to be older people like 60s or 70s that treat me differently period it seems like the younger generation just sees most of us as people not disabled people. And I also think the term ableist separates PWD and people without. If we don’t want to be labeled, we shouldn’t label them. Microaggressions Include Identities Other Than Disability For this final theme, four participants (4.44%) spoke to the complexity related to microaggressions when a PWD has additional nondominant cultural identities. P167 expressed the compounding effect: “I have multiple minoritized identities—the intersection leads to more biases.” P161 articulated the inherent confusion when one has multiple nondominant identities: “I do not know whether I am
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