The Professional Counselor | Volume 14, Issue 1 89 Sometimes resiliency just means like surviving day to day and other times, it means figuring out how to continue with your passions to the best of your ability while also supporting your family and your [service member spouse]. I think it’s just super unique to every situation. (P3) Our participants also recognized that their understanding of resilience was often focused on the here and now of their situation but that their reactions to stressors had long-term effects. One participant indicated that resilience is a learning process and recognized that the stressors they overcome now prepare them to address stressors they will face in the future: “I think being able to come out of extremely, extremely stressful situations, be able to come out on the other side and [know] I’m okay and I survived this, and now I’m kind of better prepared for next time” (P6). Participant 3 wondered about the long-term ramifications of resilience in the face of prolonged adversity, stating “I may be resilient right now in the moment, but in the long term, like, how will this affect me?” Individualized Finally, participants defined resilience as an individualized process, stating things such as “everybody has their own unique ways of being resilient, and I think that they do what works best for their families” (P7) and “my resiliency may look different than someone else’s resiliency” (P2). One participant elaborated on this individualized approach to resilience by recognizing that each person has different risk factors that affect their response to stressors, thus affecting the way each person demonstrates resilience. This participant stated that, when viewing resilience among military spouses as a whole, it is important to take into consideration somebody’s upbringing and the baggage that they bring into this life. We don’t know what people have gone through as kids, and that I think would have a big impact on whether or not someone can be resilient, so I don’t think it’s a one-size-fits-all. (P6) Theme 2: Challenges Within the Military Lifestyle Lack of Control The spouses described the common challenges of the military lifestyle to their resilience. First, they discussed the stress of the feeling of a lack of control in their lives. One participant described how she just found out yesterday that my husband was getting deployed and he’s leaving Sunday. And I keep hearing people say, “You have to be resilient. You’re gonna be okay!” You’re resilient, but right now, what it feels like is how much can you endure for the sake of the mission? (P1) Another echoed this sentiment: “I have no control if the Navy says they’re going to deploy my husband. There’s nothing I can do to change that” (P8). Constant Changes Another common challenge mentioned among all of the participants was the constant changes they experience in their lives, including moving, career changes, and changes within their family dynamics. Because they move every few years, the spouses described how they are constantly separated from their support systems: “Even though you meet these great people, you don’t get
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