The Professional Counselor | Volume 14, Issue 1 93 The military spouses also described the comfort they found in other military spouses’ understanding of the challenges they face: “I think the most important part and coping is finding your community, so making sure you’re surrounding yourself with women who are going through similar experiences, or who have gone through similar experiences and similar life stages” (P3). In the midst of this supportive community, the spouses discussed how they actively seek to comfort each other: “You’re not the only one who’s in it who’s having this issue, I understand that you’ll get through this, that we know we’ve been there, we understand how it goes” (P5). This outreach seemed to be especially helpful from spouses who were more experienced with the military lifestyle: “Having that senior spouse example has been so good. . . . She’s always been somebody who said, ‘Hey, I’ve been through a lot. If you ever have any questions, I’m always here for you’” (P8). In addition to relying on other spouses for their own wellness and resilience, the spouses expressed pride in their ability to contribute to the military spouse community. One described how “I feel like I am a better team player. I feel like I’m more committed to helping others than I have in the past because I know that others will do the same for me” (P7). The participants also described increased self-growth as a result of being a part of a community: “I really don’t think I would have allowed myself to receive help if I hadn’t been part of this phenomenal community that is constantly supporting each other” (P7). Participant 5 echoed this sentiment: “Learning to get that help from other people is something that I feel like you have to kind of get when you are a military spouse because, otherwise, you’re going to have to do everything and you don’t have to.” Finally, our participants frequently indicated that they felt a “sense of pride” (P7), “connection” (P4), or “camaraderie” (P8) from belonging to a group of military spouses who understood their unique situation. When asked how the military could enhance resilience for military spouses, participants commonly indicated that peer support and fostering connections with senior spouses should be a priority for military commands. One participant noted that their ability to be resilient in difficult times was related to the “opportunities” they had “to connect with other people who are going through similar stuff and who are a part of the same small community” and recommended that the military facilitate more opportunities to connect (P7). Another participant suggested that military commands should “have someone that [the spouse] can talk to” that would “help them to understand the military life whether you are a new spouse or a seasoned spouse” (P2). Discussion The purpose of this study was to explore military spouses’ perceptions of their resilience and the ways in which they define resilience for their community. Our study’s results indicate that spouses’ definitions of resilience are currently shaped by service member and mission priority. Our participants also described how they often felt burdened by outside expectations of their resilience as well as by a sense of responsibility for their family’s resilience. Overall, the spouses relied on themselves and the military spouse community to overcome the challenges they faced. Participants expressed a desire for resources aimed specifically at enhancing spouse resilience and more awareness about resilience resources already in place throughout the military. While past research has examined resilience factors in spouses such as communication skills, social support, and spousal support (Erbes et al., 2017; Richer et al., 2022; Sinclair et al., 2019; Villagran et al., 2013), our study provided new insight into military spouses’ perspectives of their resiliency.
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