TPC Journal-Vol 9- Issue 1

72 The Professional Counselor | Volume 9, Issue 1 Throughout the data collection and analysis, they engaged in personal reflection and maintained analytic memos chronicling their reactions and initial thoughts about the data being collected. Prior to beginning data analysis, the research team met to confirm the analysis procedures to ensure consistency. They analyzed data individually and as a team and determined codes and themes jointly to reduce bias. They also consulted throughout the data analysis process to address questions or concerns regarding the data. They consulted with an outside researcher experienced in qualitative research to get critical feedback on the data analysis process and the research findings (Marshall & Rossman, 2006). This peer review was used as an external check of the research methodology and theoretical interpretation of the data. Results Six themes emerged from the data to illustrate the lived experiences of African American mothers who have been exposed to community and state violence while raising their sons: (a) psychological distress, (b) physical manifestations of stress, (c) parenting behaviors, (d) empathic isolation, (e) coping strategies, and (f) strengths. The analysis of the data revealed that these themes were connected such that community and state violence were forces weighing on these mothers, resulting in emotional responses, changes to parenting approaches, physical responses, and empathic isolation, while the mothers’ coping strategies and strengths served as forces to uplift. Below is a discussion of each theme using exemplars from the data to present the experiences of these mothers in their own words. Psychological Distress The participants in this study described the emotions they felt regarding community and state violence, with all of them expressing various levels of fear, anger, heartbrokenness, and exhaustion. Fear or anxiety was most prominent for these mothers, many of whom thought of their own sons when they heard stories about young African American men killed by gun violence at the hands of other citizens or by law enforcement officers. Some felt fear of the unknown, as in Participant 9 who stated, “Like, what will the world do to you?” Many expressed that the fear was persistent, as they seemed to ruminate over such shootings. In Participant 10’s words, “I see the pictures of those young men daily in my mind.” The fear that these mothers described relates directly to their sons in that they have a baseline fear that their son also will become a victim of state violence. Participant 2 described living with “an underpinning of terror,” adding that “my fear is that . . . one of my sons is going to be murdered by a police officer.” In addition to fear, the participants reported feelings of anger and outrage. Participant 5 stated that she considered purchasing a gun, although she did not articulate what she would do with it. For many of the mothers, their anger was closely associated with their experience of motherhood: “Before I had kids, I didn’t realize how angry I already was about the injustice . . . it just (caused) more anger and frustration” (Participant 9). Feelings of being heartbroken, helpless, and psychologically exhausted emerged clearly from the data. Participants expressed disbelief upon hearing about police shootings of unarmed African American men and a lack of control about what Participant 7 referred to as “a cancer on society.” Participant 1 described the experience of feeling like she had been “hit with a rubber bullet, like, you know there’s no penetration, but it hurts all the same.” A particularly poignant statement from Participant 10 indicated that participants feel helpless and almost hopeless about the possibility that a change is possible: “ I don’t even know what our children have to do to convince the world that they are children . . . or even that they are human.” Additionally, the mothers are mentally exhausted