TPC Journal-Vol 9- Issue 1

74 The Professional Counselor | Volume 9, Issue 1 Empathic Isolation In their description of the effects community and state violence have had on their emotions, physical bodies, and parenting, the participants also described an experience that the researchers have called empathic isolation . Participants described receiving little to no empathy from others outside of the home as well as a self-imposed masking of emotions within the home in an effort to protect their sons. The lack of empathy outside of the home seemed to be connected with the perceived White privilege of coworkers and community members. Participant 5 stated of such individuals: “I want you to feel my frustration and my anger”—yet those individuals did not. Participant 3 added that the responses that she heard from others after publicized incidents of community or state violence upset her because they reflected a lack of empathy and understanding. During the trial of George Zimmerman, Participant 10 was hopeful because the jury largely consisted of women. However, she was disappointed by the outcome of the trial and felt that the women on the jury saw Trayvon Martin as a Black male adult rather than a 16-year-old boy. She wondered how and when Black children would be seen as children rather than threats. As a result of this lack of empathy, many of the mothers reported masking their emotions in public spaces. Participant 19 stated, “ I have to put on my face in the morning when I go into the workplace that has every ethnicity and just be me, not be that concerned mother .” Similarly, at home the mothers reported holding their emotions close in an attempt to protect their sons. They expressed concern about their emotions affecting their sons, so they mask their emotions. Participant 18 described having to “put on” for her son, meaning that despite her sadness or concern, she had to “put on that face that everything is okay.” A single mother participant expressed how it is particularly difficult for her to allow herself to fully experience her emotions. She described feeling as though she had no choice but to be strong even in moments in which she feels weak. Both inside and outside of the home, these mothers feel a multitude of emotions, yet they do not feel fully free to express them and receive empathy, either because of the empathic failures of others or because they want to shield their sons and keep pushing forward. Coping Strategies Despite the stress they feel as mothers raising African American boys and young men, participants identified multiple ways in which they cope or care for themselves in the face of adversity. Some coping strategies were internal or individual, such as maintaining a positive outlook, engaging in self-care, journaling, and prayer or meditation. Reliance on faith was evident for many participants and for at least one participant was a means to fight oppression and liberate her son (Participant 10). Participants also discussed other ways of coping that had more of an external focus, such as connecting with other African American mothers and looking to their existent social network of family and friends for support. Several participants discussed either current involvement or a desire for future involvement in community activism to address systemic racism. These participants described a type of self-care motivated by a desire to see change and manifested in action to address the systemic racism that affected their lives and the lives of their sons. Few of the participants ( n = 4) reported seeking out and utilizing professional mental health services as a coping strategy. Participants gave multiple reasons for not seeking mental health services, including pragmatic ones, such as not having time or not being able to afford services. Participants also made statements such as “I just deal with it” (Participant 7) and “I feel like I can control it” (Participant 15), which seem to relate to the experience of wearing the mask discussed above with the theme of empathic isolation. Other statements by participants indicated that they have little confidence that counseling would help. Participant 14 stated plainly that there is no use in her seeking counseling if the systems that affect her son are still in existence. Participant 10 focused on